Stir Up Your Dreams
TODAY’S SCRIPTURE
“Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you...”
(2 Timothy 1:6, NKJ)
TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria
Do you need some freshness in your life today? You may simply need to stir up what God has placed on the inside of you. Stir up those gifts, stir up those dreams, stir up those talents inside. Start stretching yourself. You were created to be a dreamer and to pursue the desires God has placed in your heart.
The Scripture tells us that without vision, people perish. If you don’t have a dream or vision for your life, you’re not really going to reach your fullest potential. Maybe at one time you had a dream, but you went through some disappointments or setbacks. Things didn’t turn out the way you planned. But here’s a key: when one dream dies, dream another dream. Just because it didn’t work out the way you had it planned doesn’t mean that God doesn’t have another plan. You cannot allow one disappointment or even a series of disappointments to convince you that your dream is over. It’s time to dig your heals in and hold on to the promises in your heart. Stir up those God-given dreams today and watch Him pour out His favor and blessing upon you and fulfill every desire in your heart!
A PRAYER FOR TODAY
Father in heaven, I come humbly to You. I give You my past, my disappointments, my brokenness. Fill me with Your hope and expectation and give me the dreams and desires that You have in store for my life. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
— Joel & Victoria Osteen
Here Is A Dream A Great Marriage:
10 things you must say to your wife
For many men, it’s too easy to slip out of conversation and into silence - especially when we don’t know exactly what to say. But silence can be deadly to relationships, and if there’s one thing most women agree on it’s this: “I just wish my husband would talk to me.”
We’re not recommending guys turn into the male version of a “Chatty Cathy,” but we are suggesting your marriage is worth the extra effort when it comes to opening up and talking with your wife. There is a lot that we really must say to our wives, and the payoff in terms of relationship is well worth it.
Don’t worry, we’re not proposing you start spouting stuff like, “I’m a big fan of Lifetime Television” or turn into a potential guest on Oprah or Dr. Phil. But we are saying it’s past time to say a few of the following things. Fact is, opening up a little can be a game-changer, if only we give it a little thought.
Here are 10 things you simply must say to your wife:
1.I love you: If you’re looking for an answer to “how often?” there isn’t a number! This is something you can’t say too often or in too many ways. If someone brags, “I don’t have to tell her, she already knows”, don’t listen. It’s a lie even if you hear it from your wife herself.
2.You are beautiful: Words to the wise:
- If you believe it, then it is so.
- There is no such thing as a spouse who is not beautiful.
- A woman who is told she is beautiful actually becomes more beautiful.
3.I’d like to know what you’re thinking? Relationships grow best in terms of communication. Kissing (and all that kind of stuff) is a by-product of relationships that are invested in knowing and being known.
4.Thank you: “Thank you for believing in me,” and “Thank you for loving me,” and “Thank you for being strong for me,” and “Thank you for (dinner, being so beautiful, ironing my shirts, being such a great mom, watching the game with me…)”. You get the picture.
5.Where would you like to go this evening? She wants to – she needs to – know that you care about her opinion. And it doesn’t just apply to dinner out. It’s critically important that she understands this is an equal partnership.
6.I was wrong: Let’s be honest. Sometimes we are wrong. In the great scheme of things, believe us, being right is nowhere close to being as important as being gracious when you are not right.
7.You were right: “You were/are right” takes #6 a step further. Your wife wants to know that you respect her. We’re very sure that it’s critical for a wife to know she is respected by her husband.
8.I’m cooking dinner this week: A lot of you are already liberated, forward-thinking men. If so, then move on to #9. If not, and this doesn’t only apply to cooking, believe us when we tell you that it’s to everyone’s advantage that your wife not feel “expected” to do anything “because she’s a woman.” Don’t just tell her the relationship is equal, show her as well.
9.Would you please read me the instructions for this? That’s right, you heard us! Step off the ego train once in a while and ask for a little help from your Sweetie.
10.Instead of watching the game this afternoon, I’d like to go on a long walk with you and just talk: You must communicate, clearly, to your wife that she massively important, that you want to spend time with her, that there’s nothing on television that could even vaguely compete with the delight of her presence, and that you want to know her – who she is and what she is thinking.
Your Coach,
Bill
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Monday, September 27, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Ten Ways To Not Waste Your Life!
Ten Ways to Not Waste Your Life:
First off, understand this: No life is ever wasted, not so long as you have a pulse and the capacity to believe.
That said, it’s also impossible to live without running into difficulty along the way. And it’s too easy to pile regrettable decisions on top of bad choices and be faced with overwhelming despair.
But, this list involves no condemnation, no shaking of fingers in anyone’s face, and no lament of coming ruin. This page will NOT criticize, nor will it pass judgment, and we’re not interested in a catalog of don’ts, shouldn’ts, dire threats or promises of doom.
Instead, the scheme of “not wasting our lives” is all about positive choices. Every road to destruction has an alternative, positive, route that is by nature incompatible with the advent of doom.
AllProDad suggests these 10 Ways - all positive - to “Not Waste Your Life.”
1.Believe: belief is the most powerful, positive life-changer in the arsenal. Believe that you are a valued person with something to contribute, and chances are you will.
2.Know where you’re headed: The cliché goes like this – if you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up somewhere else. Goals, both short term – (“I’m going to spend the evening with my child so he goes to sleep feeling loved”) and long-term (“By Christmas I’ll be able to tell my friends and my family I’ve been losing weight 20lbs over last six-months”), are necessary for purposeful change.
3.Locate a better reference point for success than the culture: Know that our standard for a successful life is found in serving others, being a great dad, loving our spouse – these standards are more conducive to satisfaction than “Beautiful, because I’m worth it”, or “He who dies with the most toys wins.”
4.Value relationships as #1 – “Family First”: This is an extension of #3 – No man is a failure who is loved by a child. That principle extends to our spouse, neighbors, friends and co-workers. To love, eloquently, is the cure for the common life.
5.A dependence on anything external for happiness is unnecessary: When we “need” others – or achievements - to feel worthy, or happy in any way, we’re undermining this great truth: The simple fact of our creation, and that we are valued by the Creator, is sufficient.
6.Live in the moment: “I’ll feel like I’ve achieved something when ‘thus and such’ has happened.” “Just let me get that new garage and I’ll be good.” This kind of thinking ensures we’ll remain dependant on “more” for satisfaction. Repeat after me: “If I have a pulse and the capacity to believe, then my life is not wasted.”
7.Learn to defer short-term thrills in favor of long-term rewards: We often confuse fluff and bling with substance. When we believe we are dependent on externals for genuine satisfaction, then we will sacrifice what is real (relationships, stability, respect, hard work etc.) for what is superficial. Grabbing what we can now and undermining what is lasting amounts to nothing short of self-sabotage.
8.Always continue learning: Life-long learners adopt the ongoing posture of reinvention and redemption. Learners ask questions rather than act as if they know all the answers. It’s difficult to waste your life when you are humble and open to new ideas.
9.Don’t sweat the small stuff: Knowing what we value puts it all into perspective. If we know why our life is not a waste, then we’re not so likely to get fooled by the trivia.
10.Never do anything you wouldn’t be comfortable doing in the presence of your Maker: If in doubt about this, talk it over with God first.
Your Coach,
Bill
First off, understand this: No life is ever wasted, not so long as you have a pulse and the capacity to believe.
That said, it’s also impossible to live without running into difficulty along the way. And it’s too easy to pile regrettable decisions on top of bad choices and be faced with overwhelming despair.
But, this list involves no condemnation, no shaking of fingers in anyone’s face, and no lament of coming ruin. This page will NOT criticize, nor will it pass judgment, and we’re not interested in a catalog of don’ts, shouldn’ts, dire threats or promises of doom.
Instead, the scheme of “not wasting our lives” is all about positive choices. Every road to destruction has an alternative, positive, route that is by nature incompatible with the advent of doom.
AllProDad suggests these 10 Ways - all positive - to “Not Waste Your Life.”
1.Believe: belief is the most powerful, positive life-changer in the arsenal. Believe that you are a valued person with something to contribute, and chances are you will.
2.Know where you’re headed: The cliché goes like this – if you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up somewhere else. Goals, both short term – (“I’m going to spend the evening with my child so he goes to sleep feeling loved”) and long-term (“By Christmas I’ll be able to tell my friends and my family I’ve been losing weight 20lbs over last six-months”), are necessary for purposeful change.
3.Locate a better reference point for success than the culture: Know that our standard for a successful life is found in serving others, being a great dad, loving our spouse – these standards are more conducive to satisfaction than “Beautiful, because I’m worth it”, or “He who dies with the most toys wins.”
4.Value relationships as #1 – “Family First”: This is an extension of #3 – No man is a failure who is loved by a child. That principle extends to our spouse, neighbors, friends and co-workers. To love, eloquently, is the cure for the common life.
5.A dependence on anything external for happiness is unnecessary: When we “need” others – or achievements - to feel worthy, or happy in any way, we’re undermining this great truth: The simple fact of our creation, and that we are valued by the Creator, is sufficient.
6.Live in the moment: “I’ll feel like I’ve achieved something when ‘thus and such’ has happened.” “Just let me get that new garage and I’ll be good.” This kind of thinking ensures we’ll remain dependant on “more” for satisfaction. Repeat after me: “If I have a pulse and the capacity to believe, then my life is not wasted.”
7.Learn to defer short-term thrills in favor of long-term rewards: We often confuse fluff and bling with substance. When we believe we are dependent on externals for genuine satisfaction, then we will sacrifice what is real (relationships, stability, respect, hard work etc.) for what is superficial. Grabbing what we can now and undermining what is lasting amounts to nothing short of self-sabotage.
8.Always continue learning: Life-long learners adopt the ongoing posture of reinvention and redemption. Learners ask questions rather than act as if they know all the answers. It’s difficult to waste your life when you are humble and open to new ideas.
9.Don’t sweat the small stuff: Knowing what we value puts it all into perspective. If we know why our life is not a waste, then we’re not so likely to get fooled by the trivia.
10.Never do anything you wouldn’t be comfortable doing in the presence of your Maker: If in doubt about this, talk it over with God first.
Your Coach,
Bill
Monday, September 20, 2010
Afternoon With Tony Robbins
Thanks To Domenic McKenna;
An afternoon with Tony Robbins
A week and a half ago I spent 4 hours listening to Peak Performance Coach Tony Robbins in Sydney. It was the most inspiring, value adding, motivating and thought provoking talk I have seen. This is a personal recap of the key points covered for all out there in iWorld (note: this is only brief points of what was an information packed session which to get full value, one should attend and experience first hand):
The Smartest people make money and create wealth during an economic winter. In doing so you should prepare yourself with these 3 Leadership Mandates:
1. See it as it is, not worse than it is. The Australian economy will get worse but know that anticipation is power! If you know the road ahead it will dramatically help you. Many people are skeptics, it takes no courage to be skeptical!
2. See it better than it is. ‘Without vision, people perish”. If you dont have a tomorrow, you will go nowhere. Don’t live passively while learning.
3. Make it the way you see it! Get certain about it!
The Psychology of the Entrepreneur: (a) every business must have a system. McDonalds has sold over 245 Billion Burgers due to a systemized approach. (b) you must learn to overcome adversity. If you look at Oprah’s story before she started the Oprah Winfery show, all odds were against her but she overcame her situation.
You need to get Emotional Fitness and develop Psychological Strength! To do this you need to change your psychological mindset. When studying the key reasons why people believe they fail the most common points were a lack of:
(a) Time (b) money (c) energy (d) technology (e) education (p) people
All of the above are resources. These however are not the reason people fail. It is not a lack of resources which cause us to fail but a lack of RESOURCEFULNESS! The ultimate resource is human emotion!
“It is not the season, it is you!” - You need to condition yourself to believe that you will grow through any season!
Many of the biggest companies today were grown in an economic recession. Examples are:
CNN - PIZZA HUT - CHEVRON -EXXON -MICROSOFT -FEDEX -GE -APPLE -HYATT - IBM -DISNEY
Your business will grown when you do!!!
WalMart outgrew all others as its leader, Sam Walton developed a culture to serve its customers better than any other outlet. Walmart is today the biggest retail outlet in the world. You need to create a culture in what you do.
The biggest thing which rules your life is your decisions. Your decisions = your destiny. This is what controls your life.
Tony gives a great analogy of when he began working with Andre Agassi and at the time Andre slipped from no #1 in the world to no #34. After a few sessions with Tony, it was found he was not focusing the way he was when he won Wimbeldon and that his physiology was totally different when approaching other players on the court to what it used to be. Once he began to get his state and physiology right, he went back to winning.
3 DECISIONS:
1. What to focus on? Focus = Feeling. Do not focus on what you cannot control. Most of us are dabblers and never commit. Once you commit and focus your success will follow.
2. What does this mean? Treat people like you did in the beginning always. There is a law of familiarity which says if you are around people or anything for long enough you take it for granted. This is part of the Australian culture which conditions you not to go for the full game. Evident through the notion of tall poppy syndrome.
3. What should I do? What controls your decisions is: (a) your state and (b) your blue print. Your energy is part of your state. Your energy comes from your fuel which is food. A strong state will begin with strong energy. Energy is power.
“Passion is the genesis of genius” - Tony Robbins
Who you spend time with is who you become! Find people who inspire you and create your own seminar of people you want to model!
Emotion is create by motion! (At this moment U2 Plays and 7000 people are dancing…crazy!)
The first way to change your state is your physiology. Then you must change what you focus on. This can be done through anchoring and finding your triggers to get yourself into a peak state.
How is your blue print affecting your happiness in life?
Formula for Happiness: Life Conditions = Blueprint
When your present life conditions match your core expectations, you will experience happiness in this area of your life.
Formula for unhappiness: Pain provides 3 choices!
1. First Choice: Ignore and finally blame (a) events - an event can never jump out and say ‘hey that is crap dont blame me for your lack of success’. (b)others, (c)self, (d) past. Ignorance is not bliss! All of the above are past related
2. Second Choice: Change your life conditions! Present related
3. Third Choice: (a) Change your physiology
(b) Change Your focus
(c) Change your meaning
Blaming will not move you forward. Your income income is directed by your standards of who you hang around.
All decision making must be done from a peak state. Big opportunities have been missed because people were not in the right state.
Change is automatic, it only requires action!
There are 3 Pillars of Progess:
Focused - You must get focused on what you want. Clear- You must get clear on your vision. Compelling - You need to make what you are doing or want to do compelling. Choose what and why questions to make it compelling.
Get the best strategies/mentor/tools/map/coaching for results.
Get into ACTION no success comes without action! Get yourself into a state of certainty about where you are going and take MASSIVE ACTION!
Hope you enjoyed!
Dom (written whilst taking Massive Action!)
Great Stuff Your Coach,
Bill
An afternoon with Tony Robbins
A week and a half ago I spent 4 hours listening to Peak Performance Coach Tony Robbins in Sydney. It was the most inspiring, value adding, motivating and thought provoking talk I have seen. This is a personal recap of the key points covered for all out there in iWorld (note: this is only brief points of what was an information packed session which to get full value, one should attend and experience first hand):
The Smartest people make money and create wealth during an economic winter. In doing so you should prepare yourself with these 3 Leadership Mandates:
1. See it as it is, not worse than it is. The Australian economy will get worse but know that anticipation is power! If you know the road ahead it will dramatically help you. Many people are skeptics, it takes no courage to be skeptical!
2. See it better than it is. ‘Without vision, people perish”. If you dont have a tomorrow, you will go nowhere. Don’t live passively while learning.
3. Make it the way you see it! Get certain about it!
The Psychology of the Entrepreneur: (a) every business must have a system. McDonalds has sold over 245 Billion Burgers due to a systemized approach. (b) you must learn to overcome adversity. If you look at Oprah’s story before she started the Oprah Winfery show, all odds were against her but she overcame her situation.
You need to get Emotional Fitness and develop Psychological Strength! To do this you need to change your psychological mindset. When studying the key reasons why people believe they fail the most common points were a lack of:
(a) Time (b) money (c) energy (d) technology (e) education (p) people
All of the above are resources. These however are not the reason people fail. It is not a lack of resources which cause us to fail but a lack of RESOURCEFULNESS! The ultimate resource is human emotion!
“It is not the season, it is you!” - You need to condition yourself to believe that you will grow through any season!
Many of the biggest companies today were grown in an economic recession. Examples are:
CNN - PIZZA HUT - CHEVRON -EXXON -MICROSOFT -FEDEX -GE -APPLE -HYATT - IBM -DISNEY
Your business will grown when you do!!!
WalMart outgrew all others as its leader, Sam Walton developed a culture to serve its customers better than any other outlet. Walmart is today the biggest retail outlet in the world. You need to create a culture in what you do.
The biggest thing which rules your life is your decisions. Your decisions = your destiny. This is what controls your life.
Tony gives a great analogy of when he began working with Andre Agassi and at the time Andre slipped from no #1 in the world to no #34. After a few sessions with Tony, it was found he was not focusing the way he was when he won Wimbeldon and that his physiology was totally different when approaching other players on the court to what it used to be. Once he began to get his state and physiology right, he went back to winning.
3 DECISIONS:
1. What to focus on? Focus = Feeling. Do not focus on what you cannot control. Most of us are dabblers and never commit. Once you commit and focus your success will follow.
2. What does this mean? Treat people like you did in the beginning always. There is a law of familiarity which says if you are around people or anything for long enough you take it for granted. This is part of the Australian culture which conditions you not to go for the full game. Evident through the notion of tall poppy syndrome.
3. What should I do? What controls your decisions is: (a) your state and (b) your blue print. Your energy is part of your state. Your energy comes from your fuel which is food. A strong state will begin with strong energy. Energy is power.
“Passion is the genesis of genius” - Tony Robbins
Who you spend time with is who you become! Find people who inspire you and create your own seminar of people you want to model!
Emotion is create by motion! (At this moment U2 Plays and 7000 people are dancing…crazy!)
The first way to change your state is your physiology. Then you must change what you focus on. This can be done through anchoring and finding your triggers to get yourself into a peak state.
How is your blue print affecting your happiness in life?
Formula for Happiness: Life Conditions = Blueprint
When your present life conditions match your core expectations, you will experience happiness in this area of your life.
Formula for unhappiness: Pain provides 3 choices!
1. First Choice: Ignore and finally blame (a) events - an event can never jump out and say ‘hey that is crap dont blame me for your lack of success’. (b)others, (c)self, (d) past. Ignorance is not bliss! All of the above are past related
2. Second Choice: Change your life conditions! Present related
3. Third Choice: (a) Change your physiology
(b) Change Your focus
(c) Change your meaning
Blaming will not move you forward. Your income income is directed by your standards of who you hang around.
All decision making must be done from a peak state. Big opportunities have been missed because people were not in the right state.
Change is automatic, it only requires action!
There are 3 Pillars of Progess:
Focused - You must get focused on what you want. Clear- You must get clear on your vision. Compelling - You need to make what you are doing or want to do compelling. Choose what and why questions to make it compelling.
Get the best strategies/mentor/tools/map/coaching for results.
Get into ACTION no success comes without action! Get yourself into a state of certainty about where you are going and take MASSIVE ACTION!
Hope you enjoyed!
Dom (written whilst taking Massive Action!)
Great Stuff Your Coach,
Bill
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Big Things Start With Small Talk!!
Big Things Start With Small Talk
As a business coach, I have often witnessed companies withholding promotion from individuals who cannot relate to others on a personal level.
The smart and the savvy know a conversation that starts simply as a comment about the weather can be the beginning of a great friendship, a creative collaboration or a lucrative contract. Those who proudly proclaim, "I don't do small talk," are missing out on a world of opportunity. The true benefit of small talk is that it leads to big talk. Like anything, you first have to commit to investing the time and effort.
.......................................................
If you have you ever found yourself tongue tied at a networking event or new client meeting, join the human race. We've all been there. Here are some techniques to help you establish the rapport that is essential for any type of relationship to begin.
Adopt the likeability factor:
We all want to do business with people we like and we believe like us. However, when we become overly task-focused, we fail to invest the time it takes to get to know someone, which inevitably begins with small talk. Likeability is simply helping others feel good about themselves when they are with you. Try treating others like they are a guest at your party and you are honored to have them attend.
Weather the first five minutes:
Five minutes is a generous estimate of how much time you have to make a connection with someone before they start looking around for the washroom, or even the exit. The mistake many make is trying to tell the other person as much as possible about themselves. Try focusing solely on the other person during the first five minutes of the conversation. Chances are they will reciprocate and become interested in getting to know you as well.
Embrace an attitude of genuine curiosity:
Next time you find yourself in a conversation with a new customer, acquaintance or stranger, try engaging them with a few curious questions - the kind you ask when you genuinely want to get to know a person. Remember, start small. "So, how many times have you been married?" isn't exactly the ice breaker I had in mind. Perhaps, "What interested you in coming to this event tonight?" or, "Where did you first meet our host?" are better places to begin. Then use open ended questions that allows you both to continue the dialogue.
Listen with genuine interest:
Stephen Covey, author of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, claims that most people listen, not with the intent to understand but with the intent to reply. Sometimes we are so concerned about delivering our own "30 second commercial" about who we are and what we do that we are more waiting for our opportunity to talk (and maybe even practicing what we want to say), than really focusing on the person and what they are saying.
Believe me, the more interested you are in someone, the more interesting you will become to them. Use your eyes to reflect sincere interest; make them steady, sincere and warm.
Use the technique of paraphrasing:
We've all heard of reflective listening, but in truth, very few of us practice it on a regular basis. It is a powerful tool. After you ask that curious question, paraphrase the other person's response back to them. Not only will this ensure you understood them correctly, it shows them that you are truly engaged. In this world of multi-tasking and half-listening, you will have given this person the rare gift of being heard. Repeating, reframing or relating to the content shows you are truly in the present with them.
Find common ground:
The ultimate goal of small talk in any situation is to establish common ground. No matter how different from you anyone seems, there is always a way to connect. An executive I know once built a bridge with a new assistant she was struggling to relate to when they discovered they both had a secret passion for watching "American Idol." That same executive salvaged an acrimonious relationship with a colleague over lunch when they discovered they were both step-parents. Sometimes the tiniest twig of commonality can begin a fruitful relationship because people like people like themselves.
Lend a helping hand:
After you have engaged the other person and discovered their interests, think about whom you know or what information you have access to that could interest or benefit them. When appropriate, you could offer to send along some information or make an introduction. This establishes you as someone who is interested in his or her success. Helping others succeed is one of the fastest routes to your own success.
So, next time you find yourself at a business function where you want to begin a meaningful conversation, here are some easy tips to follow:
1. Relax. Everyone else is as nervous as you are about meeting strangers.
2. Approach people who are standing alone with a warm smile. They will be relieved that you reached out to them. Or, approach a group of at least three people. They will be less likely engaged in a personal conversation than just two people. To break into a conversation, simply say "Excuse me for interrupting, but I wanted to say hello and introduce myself."
3. Be the first to initiate the handshake that says I am a confident person who is happy to meet you. Make it memorable by holding on until you register the color of their eyes. Then let go.
4. Do your homework if you know who you are meeting. The more you invest in research about an internal or external customer, the easier it becomes to establish commonality.
5. Keep yourself current. Make it your business to know what is happening in the scientific and business communities, on major news items, sports stories and popular TV series.
6. Avoid looking like an interrogator for the FBI/RCMP. You will close down most conversations if you start punching out too many questions that begin with "Do you..." or "Are you..." or "Have you..." The goal of initial questions is to start a dialog. Be prepared to answer the same questions you ask.
7. Be authentic. Allow yourself to be open and offer some personal information that would make the other person feel comfortable. I am not referring to details about your "intimate relationships" :) rather, something about your kids, your passions, etc.
So, my friends, I encourage you to get out there, physically, into the world of opportunity. Blackberrys, iPhones and iPads can never replace a handshake, a warm embrace or an inviting smile. They are powerful tools, but they are not a substitute for human conversation over lunch. At least I haven't yet heard my BlackBerry ask to pay my bill.
Your Coach,
Bill
As a business coach, I have often witnessed companies withholding promotion from individuals who cannot relate to others on a personal level.
The smart and the savvy know a conversation that starts simply as a comment about the weather can be the beginning of a great friendship, a creative collaboration or a lucrative contract. Those who proudly proclaim, "I don't do small talk," are missing out on a world of opportunity. The true benefit of small talk is that it leads to big talk. Like anything, you first have to commit to investing the time and effort.
.......................................................
If you have you ever found yourself tongue tied at a networking event or new client meeting, join the human race. We've all been there. Here are some techniques to help you establish the rapport that is essential for any type of relationship to begin.
Adopt the likeability factor:
We all want to do business with people we like and we believe like us. However, when we become overly task-focused, we fail to invest the time it takes to get to know someone, which inevitably begins with small talk. Likeability is simply helping others feel good about themselves when they are with you. Try treating others like they are a guest at your party and you are honored to have them attend.
Weather the first five minutes:
Five minutes is a generous estimate of how much time you have to make a connection with someone before they start looking around for the washroom, or even the exit. The mistake many make is trying to tell the other person as much as possible about themselves. Try focusing solely on the other person during the first five minutes of the conversation. Chances are they will reciprocate and become interested in getting to know you as well.
Embrace an attitude of genuine curiosity:
Next time you find yourself in a conversation with a new customer, acquaintance or stranger, try engaging them with a few curious questions - the kind you ask when you genuinely want to get to know a person. Remember, start small. "So, how many times have you been married?" isn't exactly the ice breaker I had in mind. Perhaps, "What interested you in coming to this event tonight?" or, "Where did you first meet our host?" are better places to begin. Then use open ended questions that allows you both to continue the dialogue.
Listen with genuine interest:
Stephen Covey, author of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, claims that most people listen, not with the intent to understand but with the intent to reply. Sometimes we are so concerned about delivering our own "30 second commercial" about who we are and what we do that we are more waiting for our opportunity to talk (and maybe even practicing what we want to say), than really focusing on the person and what they are saying.
Believe me, the more interested you are in someone, the more interesting you will become to them. Use your eyes to reflect sincere interest; make them steady, sincere and warm.
Use the technique of paraphrasing:
We've all heard of reflective listening, but in truth, very few of us practice it on a regular basis. It is a powerful tool. After you ask that curious question, paraphrase the other person's response back to them. Not only will this ensure you understood them correctly, it shows them that you are truly engaged. In this world of multi-tasking and half-listening, you will have given this person the rare gift of being heard. Repeating, reframing or relating to the content shows you are truly in the present with them.
Find common ground:
The ultimate goal of small talk in any situation is to establish common ground. No matter how different from you anyone seems, there is always a way to connect. An executive I know once built a bridge with a new assistant she was struggling to relate to when they discovered they both had a secret passion for watching "American Idol." That same executive salvaged an acrimonious relationship with a colleague over lunch when they discovered they were both step-parents. Sometimes the tiniest twig of commonality can begin a fruitful relationship because people like people like themselves.
Lend a helping hand:
After you have engaged the other person and discovered their interests, think about whom you know or what information you have access to that could interest or benefit them. When appropriate, you could offer to send along some information or make an introduction. This establishes you as someone who is interested in his or her success. Helping others succeed is one of the fastest routes to your own success.
So, next time you find yourself at a business function where you want to begin a meaningful conversation, here are some easy tips to follow:
1. Relax. Everyone else is as nervous as you are about meeting strangers.
2. Approach people who are standing alone with a warm smile. They will be relieved that you reached out to them. Or, approach a group of at least three people. They will be less likely engaged in a personal conversation than just two people. To break into a conversation, simply say "Excuse me for interrupting, but I wanted to say hello and introduce myself."
3. Be the first to initiate the handshake that says I am a confident person who is happy to meet you. Make it memorable by holding on until you register the color of their eyes. Then let go.
4. Do your homework if you know who you are meeting. The more you invest in research about an internal or external customer, the easier it becomes to establish commonality.
5. Keep yourself current. Make it your business to know what is happening in the scientific and business communities, on major news items, sports stories and popular TV series.
6. Avoid looking like an interrogator for the FBI/RCMP. You will close down most conversations if you start punching out too many questions that begin with "Do you..." or "Are you..." or "Have you..." The goal of initial questions is to start a dialog. Be prepared to answer the same questions you ask.
7. Be authentic. Allow yourself to be open and offer some personal information that would make the other person feel comfortable. I am not referring to details about your "intimate relationships" :) rather, something about your kids, your passions, etc.
So, my friends, I encourage you to get out there, physically, into the world of opportunity. Blackberrys, iPhones and iPads can never replace a handshake, a warm embrace or an inviting smile. They are powerful tools, but they are not a substitute for human conversation over lunch. At least I haven't yet heard my BlackBerry ask to pay my bill.
Your Coach,
Bill
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Jump In To Life!
Jump In To Life!
They say that life is for living, but we all know that when the going gets tough it’s hard to keep that enthusiasm and passion going. It takes real guts, determination and confidence to live a full and rich life, but it becomes a whole lot easier if you jump into your life in the right ways.
The very best way to live a rich life that I know of is through what I call ‘Inspired Participation’. A couple of quick definitions for you -
in-spired
1. To stimulate to action; motivate
2. To breathe life into.
3. To be the cause or source of; bring about.
par-tic-i-pa-tion
1. The act of taking part or sharing in something.
2. To share in something.
Participation is an active process of engaging with your own life. Inspiration is doing what you do knowing that’s it’s a positive choice and means something to you. So Inspired Participation is about plugging into everything in your life, finding value in it all and letting yourself do what comes naturally.
Here are 4 big reasons to make inspired participation happen in your own life.
1. Inspired Participation in Your Game
Make a choice about which game you want to play and play it. You can’t play a decent game of golf unless you get a some decent clubs, a glove,some shoes and get yourself onto the course. To play a great game of golf you’ll need to practice, you’ll need to work on your swing and focus on fundamentals and you’ll need to capitalise on your strengths. Even if the game gets hard and you’re not sure when you’ll win your next game, you keep on playing because you value the experience and it means something to you.
Inspired Participation in your game is choosing to engage in something that matters to you, playing it fully and enjoying it . It could be a relationship, an entrepreneurial idea,your business, contributing to your community, a friendship, changing your career or a million other things.
It’s only by making a choice to become a great player in a game that matters that you become a great player and get success that means something.
2. Inspired Participation in Your Feelings
Emotions go up and down and yes, sometimes they’re confusing, unpredictable and downright painful. That’s part of the deal with being human I’m afraid.
But your feelings are where you experience your life and everything in it – they’re your connection with what’s happening in your life and the impact that everything has on you. Cut yourself off from your feelings and you’re cutting yourself off from your own life and you’ll feel disconnected from everything.
Inspired Participation in your own feelings is knowing that your feelings are there to serve a purpose and they’re all equally valid. This is about allowing yourself to feel what you’re feeling, not necessarily doing anything with those feelings.
3. Inspired Participation in the World
No man’s an island, and you can’t live in a vacuum. Everything you do has an impact on the world around you – - friends, family, colleagues, finances, home, relationships, community, health, career, etc. – and nothing can happen in your life without having an impact somewhere.
Inspired Participation in the world is about plugging into what’s around you and being aware of what’s working and what isn’t working. This is about looking at how you can create a congruent environment that contributes to what’s important to you and helps you honour those things.
It’s about being more than just one person.
4. Inspired Participation in Action
I’ll bet that you sometimes get an idea that seems odd, crazy or just plain brilliant, and I’ll also bet that you often filter these thoughts out and take a more established or safer route. Inspired Participation in action is making it okay for you to do out of the ordinary things that somehow feel incredibly right.
This doesn’t necessarily have to involve full-on, life changing, epic events. Not at all. Inspired participation in action can be a lot more subtle or gentle than that, like getting in touch with an old friend, signing up for that fun evening class or finding a quiet sense of comfort with who you are, where you are and what you’re doing.
Inspired participation in action is knowing that you can take the road less traveled.
With these 4 strategies in mind – and the massive benefits that spring from them – life switches from something that you struggle or fight through into something that gives you incomparable richness.
And that’s something we all deserve.
Your Coach,
Bill
They say that life is for living, but we all know that when the going gets tough it’s hard to keep that enthusiasm and passion going. It takes real guts, determination and confidence to live a full and rich life, but it becomes a whole lot easier if you jump into your life in the right ways.
The very best way to live a rich life that I know of is through what I call ‘Inspired Participation’. A couple of quick definitions for you -
in-spired
1. To stimulate to action; motivate
2. To breathe life into.
3. To be the cause or source of; bring about.
par-tic-i-pa-tion
1. The act of taking part or sharing in something.
2. To share in something.
Participation is an active process of engaging with your own life. Inspiration is doing what you do knowing that’s it’s a positive choice and means something to you. So Inspired Participation is about plugging into everything in your life, finding value in it all and letting yourself do what comes naturally.
Here are 4 big reasons to make inspired participation happen in your own life.
1. Inspired Participation in Your Game
Make a choice about which game you want to play and play it. You can’t play a decent game of golf unless you get a some decent clubs, a glove,some shoes and get yourself onto the course. To play a great game of golf you’ll need to practice, you’ll need to work on your swing and focus on fundamentals and you’ll need to capitalise on your strengths. Even if the game gets hard and you’re not sure when you’ll win your next game, you keep on playing because you value the experience and it means something to you.
Inspired Participation in your game is choosing to engage in something that matters to you, playing it fully and enjoying it . It could be a relationship, an entrepreneurial idea,your business, contributing to your community, a friendship, changing your career or a million other things.
It’s only by making a choice to become a great player in a game that matters that you become a great player and get success that means something.
2. Inspired Participation in Your Feelings
Emotions go up and down and yes, sometimes they’re confusing, unpredictable and downright painful. That’s part of the deal with being human I’m afraid.
But your feelings are where you experience your life and everything in it – they’re your connection with what’s happening in your life and the impact that everything has on you. Cut yourself off from your feelings and you’re cutting yourself off from your own life and you’ll feel disconnected from everything.
Inspired Participation in your own feelings is knowing that your feelings are there to serve a purpose and they’re all equally valid. This is about allowing yourself to feel what you’re feeling, not necessarily doing anything with those feelings.
3. Inspired Participation in the World
No man’s an island, and you can’t live in a vacuum. Everything you do has an impact on the world around you – - friends, family, colleagues, finances, home, relationships, community, health, career, etc. – and nothing can happen in your life without having an impact somewhere.
Inspired Participation in the world is about plugging into what’s around you and being aware of what’s working and what isn’t working. This is about looking at how you can create a congruent environment that contributes to what’s important to you and helps you honour those things.
It’s about being more than just one person.
4. Inspired Participation in Action
I’ll bet that you sometimes get an idea that seems odd, crazy or just plain brilliant, and I’ll also bet that you often filter these thoughts out and take a more established or safer route. Inspired Participation in action is making it okay for you to do out of the ordinary things that somehow feel incredibly right.
This doesn’t necessarily have to involve full-on, life changing, epic events. Not at all. Inspired participation in action can be a lot more subtle or gentle than that, like getting in touch with an old friend, signing up for that fun evening class or finding a quiet sense of comfort with who you are, where you are and what you’re doing.
Inspired participation in action is knowing that you can take the road less traveled.
With these 4 strategies in mind – and the massive benefits that spring from them – life switches from something that you struggle or fight through into something that gives you incomparable richness.
And that’s something we all deserve.
Your Coach,
Bill
Jump In To Life!
They say that life is for living, but we all know that when the going gets tough it’s hard to keep that enthusiasm and passion going. It takes real guts, determination and confidence to live a full and rich life, but it becomes a whole lot easier if you jump into your life in the right ways.
The very best way to live a rich life that I know of is through what I call ‘Inspired Participation’. A couple of quick definitions for you -
in-spired
1. To stimulate to action; motivate
2. To breathe life into.
3. To be the cause or source of; bring about.
par-tic-i-pa-tion
1. The act of taking part or sharing in something.
2. To share in something.
Participation is an active process of engaging with your own life. Inspiration is doing what you do knowing that’s it’s a positive choice and means something to you. So Inspired Participation is about plugging into everything in your life, finding value in it all and letting yourself do what comes naturally.
Here are 4 big reasons to make inspired participation happen in your own life.
1. Inspired Participation in Your Game
Make a choice about which game you want to play and play it. You can’t play a decent game of golf unless you get a some decent clubs, a glove,some shoes and get yourself onto the course. To play a great game of golf you’ll need to practice, you’ll need to work on your swing and focus on fundamentals and you’ll need to capitalise on your strengths. Even if the game gets hard and you’re not sure when you’ll win your next game, you keep on playing because you value the experience and it means something to you.
Inspired Participation in your game is choosing to engage in something that matters to you, playing it fully and enjoying it . It could be a relationship, an entrepreneurial idea,your business, contributing to your community, a friendship, changing your career or a million other things.
It’s only by making a choice to become a great player in a game that matters that you become a great player and get success that means something.
2. Inspired Participation in Your Feelings
Emotions go up and down and yes, sometimes they’re confusing, unpredictable and downright painful. That’s part of the deal with being human I’m afraid.
But your feelings are where you experience your life and everything in it – they’re your connection with what’s happening in your life and the impact that everything has on you. Cut yourself off from your feelings and you’re cutting yourself off from your own life and you’ll feel disconnected from everything.
Inspired Participation in your own feelings is knowing that your feelings are there to serve a purpose and they’re all equally valid. This is about allowing yourself to feel what you’re feeling, not necessarily doing anything with those feelings.
3. Inspired Participation in the World
No man’s an island, and you can’t live in a vacuum. Everything you do has an impact on the world around you – - friends, family, colleagues, finances, home, relationships, community, health, career, etc. – and nothing can happen in your life without having an impact somewhere.
Inspired Participation in the world is about plugging into what’s around you and being aware of what’s working and what isn’t working. This is about looking at how you can create a congruent environment that contributes to what’s important to you and helps you honour those things.
It’s about being more than just one person.
4. Inspired Participation in Action
I’ll bet that you sometimes get an idea that seems odd, crazy or just plain brilliant, and I’ll also bet that you often filter these thoughts out and take a more established or safer route. Inspired Participation in action is making it okay for you to do out of the ordinary things that somehow feel incredibly right.
This doesn’t necessarily have to involve full-on, life changing, epic events. Not at all. Inspired participation in action can be a lot more subtle or gentle than that, like getting in touch with an old friend, signing up for that fun evening class or finding a quiet sense of comfort with who you are, where you are and what you’re doing.
Inspired participation in action is knowing that you can take the road less traveled.
With these 4 strategies in mind – and the massive benefits that spring from them – life switches from something that you struggle or fight through into something that gives you incomparable richness.
And that’s something we all deserve.
Your Coach,
Bill
The very best way to live a rich life that I know of is through what I call ‘Inspired Participation’. A couple of quick definitions for you -
in-spired
1. To stimulate to action; motivate
2. To breathe life into.
3. To be the cause or source of; bring about.
par-tic-i-pa-tion
1. The act of taking part or sharing in something.
2. To share in something.
Participation is an active process of engaging with your own life. Inspiration is doing what you do knowing that’s it’s a positive choice and means something to you. So Inspired Participation is about plugging into everything in your life, finding value in it all and letting yourself do what comes naturally.
Here are 4 big reasons to make inspired participation happen in your own life.
1. Inspired Participation in Your Game
Make a choice about which game you want to play and play it. You can’t play a decent game of golf unless you get a some decent clubs, a glove,some shoes and get yourself onto the course. To play a great game of golf you’ll need to practice, you’ll need to work on your swing and focus on fundamentals and you’ll need to capitalise on your strengths. Even if the game gets hard and you’re not sure when you’ll win your next game, you keep on playing because you value the experience and it means something to you.
Inspired Participation in your game is choosing to engage in something that matters to you, playing it fully and enjoying it . It could be a relationship, an entrepreneurial idea,your business, contributing to your community, a friendship, changing your career or a million other things.
It’s only by making a choice to become a great player in a game that matters that you become a great player and get success that means something.
2. Inspired Participation in Your Feelings
Emotions go up and down and yes, sometimes they’re confusing, unpredictable and downright painful. That’s part of the deal with being human I’m afraid.
But your feelings are where you experience your life and everything in it – they’re your connection with what’s happening in your life and the impact that everything has on you. Cut yourself off from your feelings and you’re cutting yourself off from your own life and you’ll feel disconnected from everything.
Inspired Participation in your own feelings is knowing that your feelings are there to serve a purpose and they’re all equally valid. This is about allowing yourself to feel what you’re feeling, not necessarily doing anything with those feelings.
3. Inspired Participation in the World
No man’s an island, and you can’t live in a vacuum. Everything you do has an impact on the world around you – - friends, family, colleagues, finances, home, relationships, community, health, career, etc. – and nothing can happen in your life without having an impact somewhere.
Inspired Participation in the world is about plugging into what’s around you and being aware of what’s working and what isn’t working. This is about looking at how you can create a congruent environment that contributes to what’s important to you and helps you honour those things.
It’s about being more than just one person.
4. Inspired Participation in Action
I’ll bet that you sometimes get an idea that seems odd, crazy or just plain brilliant, and I’ll also bet that you often filter these thoughts out and take a more established or safer route. Inspired Participation in action is making it okay for you to do out of the ordinary things that somehow feel incredibly right.
This doesn’t necessarily have to involve full-on, life changing, epic events. Not at all. Inspired participation in action can be a lot more subtle or gentle than that, like getting in touch with an old friend, signing up for that fun evening class or finding a quiet sense of comfort with who you are, where you are and what you’re doing.
Inspired participation in action is knowing that you can take the road less traveled.
With these 4 strategies in mind – and the massive benefits that spring from them – life switches from something that you struggle or fight through into something that gives you incomparable richness.
And that’s something we all deserve.
Your Coach,
Bill
Friday, September 10, 2010
Set Yourself On Fire!
Set Yourself On Fire!!,
Have you heard of a guy called Fred Shero?
No? . I’m a big sports fan and Fred was a hugely successful Canadian NHL player and coach with a string of many hundreds of wins and numerous awards and accolades to his name. Pretty good going, but it’s not his sports record that I admire.
What I love Fred for is something that he once said:
“Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must first set yourself on fire.”
Reading that sent lightning bolts through my spine, as there have been many times in my life when I’ve been sitting back, subconsciously waiting for the world to bring me the success I thought I wanted. To be completely honest with you, even now I sometimes find myself expecting someone else to ’set fire’ to me, waiting for spontaneous combustion rather setting myself on fire and finding my own success.
I have to catch myself when I slip into that way of thinking before it sets in, because Fred’s absolutely right.
People all too often wait for success to happen to them. “If only it would fall into place…”, “Surely someone will discover who I am and what I can do soon…” or “Just a little while longer and it’ll all come good…” are examples of the things we say while we’re waiting for success to come along.
Of course, the big thing I’ve come to learn is that it doesn’t work that way. Finding success – real success – isn’t a passive thing. It’s not something that happens to you like watching a movie or getting your hair cut. Finding success is something that happens in you.
Here are 4 things for you to think about:
1. What does success look like to you?
What comprises success? How much of it is material? How much of it is emotional? How much of it is spiritual? Get specific about what success does and doesn’t mean to you.
2. Imagine yourself towards the end of your life
Picture yourself towards the end of your life as happy and content as you can be. What is it about that future you that tells you as clear as day that they’re happy and content? Picture yourself walking up to them and asking them what it is that allowed them to reach that point. What single piece of advice can they give you?
3. How focused are you on working on your success?
What are you willing to do to get the kind of success you want? What are you waiting for the world to deliver to you so that you can have that success?
4. Are you driving your success?
How would it be if you were driving that success rather than waiting for it? What changes do you notice in how you do things and how you feel about things?
I’m not suggesting for one minute that you can’t ask others, the world, God or whatever higher power you happen to believe in for help. I’m not even suggesting that you become wholly focused on working towards your success. That’s missing the point.
The point is that we humans tend to be focused on working towards happiness and success and assume that until it comes along we have to spend time being unhappy, suffering or struggling.
You don’t have to struggle…
The truth is that things happen much easier and more readily if we don’t struggle, suffer or assume unhappiness – the assumption that you need to struggle or fight for your success is a false one. Real success comes much easier and becomes more consistent when you operate straight from that place of success instead of assuming it’s out there in the world somewhere.
Go after what’s important to you and get going on all those shiny things you’d love to have, do and be in life, but recognise how much more pleasureable it’s going to be when you’re feeling happy and successful rather than unhappy and unsuccessful.
Fred got it right. Don’t wait for spontaneous combustion or for someone to set light to you. Dive into your own happiness and success, engage with those things and operate from a place where they’re real and present.
Don’t wait, set yourself on fire.
Your Coach,
Bill
Have you heard of a guy called Fred Shero?
No? . I’m a big sports fan and Fred was a hugely successful Canadian NHL player and coach with a string of many hundreds of wins and numerous awards and accolades to his name. Pretty good going, but it’s not his sports record that I admire.
What I love Fred for is something that he once said:
“Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must first set yourself on fire.”
Reading that sent lightning bolts through my spine, as there have been many times in my life when I’ve been sitting back, subconsciously waiting for the world to bring me the success I thought I wanted. To be completely honest with you, even now I sometimes find myself expecting someone else to ’set fire’ to me, waiting for spontaneous combustion rather setting myself on fire and finding my own success.
I have to catch myself when I slip into that way of thinking before it sets in, because Fred’s absolutely right.
People all too often wait for success to happen to them. “If only it would fall into place…”, “Surely someone will discover who I am and what I can do soon…” or “Just a little while longer and it’ll all come good…” are examples of the things we say while we’re waiting for success to come along.
Of course, the big thing I’ve come to learn is that it doesn’t work that way. Finding success – real success – isn’t a passive thing. It’s not something that happens to you like watching a movie or getting your hair cut. Finding success is something that happens in you.
Here are 4 things for you to think about:
1. What does success look like to you?
What comprises success? How much of it is material? How much of it is emotional? How much of it is spiritual? Get specific about what success does and doesn’t mean to you.
2. Imagine yourself towards the end of your life
Picture yourself towards the end of your life as happy and content as you can be. What is it about that future you that tells you as clear as day that they’re happy and content? Picture yourself walking up to them and asking them what it is that allowed them to reach that point. What single piece of advice can they give you?
3. How focused are you on working on your success?
What are you willing to do to get the kind of success you want? What are you waiting for the world to deliver to you so that you can have that success?
4. Are you driving your success?
How would it be if you were driving that success rather than waiting for it? What changes do you notice in how you do things and how you feel about things?
I’m not suggesting for one minute that you can’t ask others, the world, God or whatever higher power you happen to believe in for help. I’m not even suggesting that you become wholly focused on working towards your success. That’s missing the point.
The point is that we humans tend to be focused on working towards happiness and success and assume that until it comes along we have to spend time being unhappy, suffering or struggling.
You don’t have to struggle…
The truth is that things happen much easier and more readily if we don’t struggle, suffer or assume unhappiness – the assumption that you need to struggle or fight for your success is a false one. Real success comes much easier and becomes more consistent when you operate straight from that place of success instead of assuming it’s out there in the world somewhere.
Go after what’s important to you and get going on all those shiny things you’d love to have, do and be in life, but recognise how much more pleasureable it’s going to be when you’re feeling happy and successful rather than unhappy and unsuccessful.
Fred got it right. Don’t wait for spontaneous combustion or for someone to set light to you. Dive into your own happiness and success, engage with those things and operate from a place where they’re real and present.
Don’t wait, set yourself on fire.
Your Coach,
Bill
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