You’ve probably heard the expression, “what’s the point of doing anything if you’re not going to do it well? “ This pursuit of excellence is absolutely essential in the life of any successful champion. The sense of accomplishment you get from a job well done can do wonders for your self esteem. But striving for excellence isn’t only about the times you get to succeed and pat yourself on the back. Equally important – in fact, possibly more important – are those times when you miss the mark.
In any life well lived, there really are no mistakes. Unless you count the mistake of not trying. Because every time you reach for something, you push yourself a little bit farther, you grow a little bit stronger, your life becomes that much richer and more fulfilling. And even if you don’t quite reach your goal, you learn so much by pushing yourself beyond where you were before.
It’s all about not shying away from a challenge, but constantly striving to be the best you can be. Will there be days or occasions when you just get by? Of course. But your overall goal should be to keep reaching for more. And then, when you achieve it, to reach for something else. Because the winners responsibility is to never stop changing or growing.
Kerr Business Group "CREED"
Commit Totally
Respect the Process
Engage Fully
Expect Greatness
Daily Habits of Success
Habit Tip:
Your body is strong and healthy and energetic – and that energy is something to celebrate. Every day in your pursuit of success life is a new opportunity to get out there and touch people’s hearts and lives, and to experience pleasure, pride and accomplishment in all the things you do.
But do you feel like taking the world by storm every day? Probably not.
People today are overstressed and overworked, which can leave anyone feeling less than energetic. So what do you do when it takes every ounce of strength you have just to drag yourself out of bed? Believe it or not, it starts in your mind. You and your faith have the power to make yourself feel more alive right there inside your head – you just have to take charge. Drink a cold glass of water with lemon or lime to wake up your taste buds. Take a few deep breaths, or do some light stretching to warm up your muscles. Maybe a walk outside in the morning air will get your blood going.
And if none of that works, use your mind and positive self talk to change the message. Instead of focusing on how tired you feel, remind yourself of how excited you are to be on this incredible journey, and while the work may be hard at times, the best is yet to come.
Your Coach
Bill
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Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Dealing with Negative People.
Dealing With Negative People;
Borrowed Blog not My Personal experience,
Do you have any friends or colleagues who are negative? If so, you’ll know they aren’t the most enjoyable people to be around. Negative people can be real downers in any conversation. No matter what you say, they have a way of spinning things in a negative direction. Some negative people can be so negative that it feels draining just being around them.
I’ve dealt with a fair share of negative people in my life. When I was in junior college, I was basically surrounded by a college population of negative students and teachers. My school wasn’t the best of the lot, so most people inside were disgruntled by virtue of being there. While I was initially taken aback by negativity of the people, I eventually learned to manage it and channel it into conscious action.
Today, I deal with negativity on-and-off in my personal development work, especially if there are readers or coaching clients in distress. Rather than be affected by others’ negative energy, I’m now able to consciously deal with it. Here, I’ll share with you 9 tips to deal with negative people in your life:
1) Don’t get into an argument
One of the most important things I learned is not to debate with a negative person. A negative person likely has very staunch views and isn’t going to change that just because of what you said. Whatever you say, he/she can find 10 different reasons to back up his/her viewpoint. The discussion will just swirl into more negativity, and you pull yourself down in the process. You can give constructive comments, and if the person rebutts with no signs of backing down, don’t engage further.
2) Empathize with them
Have you ever been annoyed by something before, then have someone tell you to “relax”? How did you feel? Did you relax as the person suggested or did you feel even more worked up?
From my experience, people who are negative (or upset for that matter) benefit more from an empathetic ear than suggestions/solutions on what he/she should do. By helping them to address their emotions, the solutions will automatically come to them (it’s always been inside them anyway).
3) Lend a helping hand
Some people complain as a way of crying for help. They may not be conscious of it though, so their comments come across as complaints rather than requests. Take the onus to lend a helping hand. Just a simple “Are you okay?” or “Is there anything I can do to help you?” can do wonders.
4) Stick to light topics
Some negative people are triggered by certain topics. Take for example: One of my friends sinks into a self-victimizing mode whenever we talk about his work. No matter what I say (or don’t say), he’ll keep complaining once we talk about work.
Our 1st instinct with negative people should be to help bring them to a more positive place (i.e. steps #2 and #3). But if it’s apparent the person is stuck in his/her negativity, the unhappiness may be too deeply rooted to address in a one-off conversation, or for you to help him/her unravel it. Bring in a new topic to lighten the mood. Simple things like new movies, daily occurrences, common friends, make for light conversation. Keep it to areas the person feels positive towards.
5) Ignore the negative comments
One way to help the negative person “get it” is to ignore the negative comments. If he/she goes into a negative swirl, ignore or give a simple “I see” or “Ok” reply. On the other hand, when he/she is being positive, reply in affirmation and enthusiasm. Do this often and soon he/she will know positivity pays off. He/she will adjust to be more positive accordingly.
6) Praise the person for the positive things
Negative people aren’t just negative to others. They’re also negative to themselves. If you already feel negative around them, imagine how they must feel all the time. What are the things the person is good at? What do you like about the person? Recognize the positive things and praise him/her for it. He/she will be surprised at first and might reject the compliment, but on the inside he/she will feel positive about it. That’s the first seed of positivity you’re planting in him/her and it’ll bloom in the long-term.
7) Hang out in 3’s or more people
Having someone else in the conversation works wonders in easing the load. In a 1-1 communication, all the negativity will be directed towards you. With someone else in the conversation, you don’t have to bear the full brunt of the negativity. This way you can focus more on doing steps #1 (Empathizing) and #2 (Helping the person).
8) Be responsible for your reaction
Whether the person is negative or not, ultimately you’re the one who is perceiving the person is negative. When you recognize that, actually the negativity is the product of your lens. Take responsibility for your perceptions. For every trait, you can interpret it in a positive and a negative manner. Learn to see the goodness of the person than the negative. It may be tough initially, but once you cultivate the skill, it becomes second nature.
9) Reduce contact with them / Avoid them
If all else fails, reduce contact with them or avoid them altogether. If it’s a good friend, let him/her know of the severity of the issue and work it out where possible. It’s not healthy to spend too much time with people who drain you. Your time is precious, so spend it with people who have positive effects on you.
Your Coach,
Bill
Borrowed Blog not My Personal experience,
Do you have any friends or colleagues who are negative? If so, you’ll know they aren’t the most enjoyable people to be around. Negative people can be real downers in any conversation. No matter what you say, they have a way of spinning things in a negative direction. Some negative people can be so negative that it feels draining just being around them.
I’ve dealt with a fair share of negative people in my life. When I was in junior college, I was basically surrounded by a college population of negative students and teachers. My school wasn’t the best of the lot, so most people inside were disgruntled by virtue of being there. While I was initially taken aback by negativity of the people, I eventually learned to manage it and channel it into conscious action.
Today, I deal with negativity on-and-off in my personal development work, especially if there are readers or coaching clients in distress. Rather than be affected by others’ negative energy, I’m now able to consciously deal with it. Here, I’ll share with you 9 tips to deal with negative people in your life:
1) Don’t get into an argument
One of the most important things I learned is not to debate with a negative person. A negative person likely has very staunch views and isn’t going to change that just because of what you said. Whatever you say, he/she can find 10 different reasons to back up his/her viewpoint. The discussion will just swirl into more negativity, and you pull yourself down in the process. You can give constructive comments, and if the person rebutts with no signs of backing down, don’t engage further.
2) Empathize with them
Have you ever been annoyed by something before, then have someone tell you to “relax”? How did you feel? Did you relax as the person suggested or did you feel even more worked up?
From my experience, people who are negative (or upset for that matter) benefit more from an empathetic ear than suggestions/solutions on what he/she should do. By helping them to address their emotions, the solutions will automatically come to them (it’s always been inside them anyway).
3) Lend a helping hand
Some people complain as a way of crying for help. They may not be conscious of it though, so their comments come across as complaints rather than requests. Take the onus to lend a helping hand. Just a simple “Are you okay?” or “Is there anything I can do to help you?” can do wonders.
4) Stick to light topics
Some negative people are triggered by certain topics. Take for example: One of my friends sinks into a self-victimizing mode whenever we talk about his work. No matter what I say (or don’t say), he’ll keep complaining once we talk about work.
Our 1st instinct with negative people should be to help bring them to a more positive place (i.e. steps #2 and #3). But if it’s apparent the person is stuck in his/her negativity, the unhappiness may be too deeply rooted to address in a one-off conversation, or for you to help him/her unravel it. Bring in a new topic to lighten the mood. Simple things like new movies, daily occurrences, common friends, make for light conversation. Keep it to areas the person feels positive towards.
5) Ignore the negative comments
One way to help the negative person “get it” is to ignore the negative comments. If he/she goes into a negative swirl, ignore or give a simple “I see” or “Ok” reply. On the other hand, when he/she is being positive, reply in affirmation and enthusiasm. Do this often and soon he/she will know positivity pays off. He/she will adjust to be more positive accordingly.
6) Praise the person for the positive things
Negative people aren’t just negative to others. They’re also negative to themselves. If you already feel negative around them, imagine how they must feel all the time. What are the things the person is good at? What do you like about the person? Recognize the positive things and praise him/her for it. He/she will be surprised at first and might reject the compliment, but on the inside he/she will feel positive about it. That’s the first seed of positivity you’re planting in him/her and it’ll bloom in the long-term.
7) Hang out in 3’s or more people
Having someone else in the conversation works wonders in easing the load. In a 1-1 communication, all the negativity will be directed towards you. With someone else in the conversation, you don’t have to bear the full brunt of the negativity. This way you can focus more on doing steps #1 (Empathizing) and #2 (Helping the person).
8) Be responsible for your reaction
Whether the person is negative or not, ultimately you’re the one who is perceiving the person is negative. When you recognize that, actually the negativity is the product of your lens. Take responsibility for your perceptions. For every trait, you can interpret it in a positive and a negative manner. Learn to see the goodness of the person than the negative. It may be tough initially, but once you cultivate the skill, it becomes second nature.
9) Reduce contact with them / Avoid them
If all else fails, reduce contact with them or avoid them altogether. If it’s a good friend, let him/her know of the severity of the issue and work it out where possible. It’s not healthy to spend too much time with people who drain you. Your time is precious, so spend it with people who have positive effects on you.
Your Coach,
Bill
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Treating People!!!
R.E.S.P.E.C.T… What does it mean to you?
A few years ago, I read an article about a young man who, at age 23, went to work as the senior pastor of his first church. He found the experience very intimidating because he was to be the spiritual leader of people who had children and grandchildren older than he was.
How did he handle it? By showing his people respect and asking them to treat them in kind. To make his standard clear to everyone, he shared ten rules for respect that he promised to live by, and he asked his people to do the same.
Here are his rules:
1.If you have a problem with me, come to me (privately).
2.If I have a problem with you, I’ll come to you (privately).
3.If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send them to me. (I’ll do the same for you.)
4.If someone consistently will not come to me, say, “Let’s go see him together.” (I’ll do the same for you.)
5.Be careful how you interpret me. On matters that are unclear, do not feel pressured to interpret my feelings or thoughts. It is easy to misinterpret intentions.
6.I will be careful how I interpret you.
7.If it’s confidential, don’t tell. If anyone comes to me in confidence, I won’t tell unless (a) the person is going to harm him/herself; (b) the person is going to physically harm someone else; (c) a child has been physically or sexually abused. I expect the same from you.
8.I do not read unsigned letters or notes.
9.I do not manipulate; I will not be manipulated. Do not let others manipulate you; do not let others try to manipulate me through you.
10.When in doubt, just say it. If I can answer without misrepresenting something or breaking a confidence, I will.
Thanks John Maxwell
Your Coach,
Bill
A few years ago, I read an article about a young man who, at age 23, went to work as the senior pastor of his first church. He found the experience very intimidating because he was to be the spiritual leader of people who had children and grandchildren older than he was.
How did he handle it? By showing his people respect and asking them to treat them in kind. To make his standard clear to everyone, he shared ten rules for respect that he promised to live by, and he asked his people to do the same.
Here are his rules:
1.If you have a problem with me, come to me (privately).
2.If I have a problem with you, I’ll come to you (privately).
3.If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send them to me. (I’ll do the same for you.)
4.If someone consistently will not come to me, say, “Let’s go see him together.” (I’ll do the same for you.)
5.Be careful how you interpret me. On matters that are unclear, do not feel pressured to interpret my feelings or thoughts. It is easy to misinterpret intentions.
6.I will be careful how I interpret you.
7.If it’s confidential, don’t tell. If anyone comes to me in confidence, I won’t tell unless (a) the person is going to harm him/herself; (b) the person is going to physically harm someone else; (c) a child has been physically or sexually abused. I expect the same from you.
8.I do not read unsigned letters or notes.
9.I do not manipulate; I will not be manipulated. Do not let others manipulate you; do not let others try to manipulate me through you.
10.When in doubt, just say it. If I can answer without misrepresenting something or breaking a confidence, I will.
Thanks John Maxwell
Your Coach,
Bill
Friday, August 6, 2010
Change Your Mindset
Change Your Mindset;
We all want to change our internal reality on some level. The way we think, interpret, react, cope, expect, process, interact and communicate. The way we create our own experiences: good and bad. The way we manage our fears. Or, perhaps, don’t manage them. The way we avoid the big decisions. The way we wait. And wait. And wait. That is, procrastinate.
The way we see ourselves. Talk to ourselves. The way we feel. Our emotions. The way we deal with stressful situations. Or, perhaps, the way we create stress in our world. The way we see the world and us in it. The labels we give things. The meaning we give certain experiences. The way we give away our power. And take it back. The way we look for approval. And acceptance.
The way we beat ourselves up. And make ourselves unhappy. The way we pretend. And act. And deny. The way we continue on with the same unproductive and destructive patterns, habits and behaviours. The way we have the same pointless conversations about the same issues with the same people. And produce the same less-than-desirable results. Forever. The way we do the same things over and over and then curiously wonder why nothing changes. The way we start things we never finish.
Yes, we all want to change on some level. We all want to become a better version of us. To learn, grow, evolve and adapt. That’s why we explore personal development.
So, what is the single quickest way to create internal shift? To change the way we think, feel, interpret, react, cope, expect, process, interact and communicate? Three simple words:
Experience new things.
Do Different to Be Different
When we do things we’ve never done before, there’s an instant and automatic internal shift. Expectations, emotions, attitudes and beliefs (about what’s possible for us) change. The internal shift is simply a byproduct of a new experience. Of doing something we’ve never done before.
Change comes from doing. For the most part, we don’t ‘think’ ourselves different; we ‘do’ ourselves different. So to speak. We need to ‘action’ our way to internal transformation. Which is why the theory of personal development is worthless until it becomes a practical reality. Until the concepts and ideas are turned into behaviours. Some people are theoretical geniuses but practical idiots. They talk a lot but do very little.
Change comes from doing. Which is why an article like this can be transformational or worthless – it all depends on you.
The Runner
For the forty-five year-old woman who runs a half-marathon for the first time in her life, the transformation will be more emotional and psychological (internal), than it will be physical (external). She finishes her event and without focusing on anything other than the physical process, she has gained more confidence, her standards and expectations have changed, she’s less fearful and she’s more excited about her future possibilities. Her new experience has created internal shift.
The Ex-Scaredy Cat
Then there’s the insecure, fearful guy who runs into a burning house and saves a child. In an instant, his default setting is changed forever. He does something that he never thought was possible (for him) and with one brave, selfless action, many of his self-limiting beliefs are smashed. He is empowered. The world is the same but he is different. Therefore, his world is different.
The Graduate
There’s the self-proclaimed dummy who enrolls in university, does the work, develops the study-skills, learns the academic language, passes the exams and gains the degree. She is forever changed. The ability was always there but the confidence wasn’t. Her self-limiting thinking and self-sabotaging behaviours become a thing of the past – as a byproduct of doing something she had never done.
The Traveller
There’s the woe-is-me guy who visits a third world country. He instantly realises that his horrible life in the North America is actually fantastic. And that his lifestyle is actually one of privilege, not disadvantage. He identifies that his self-pitying, negative attitude has always been his problem. Without even looking for it, his experience in another part of the world teaches him to acknowledge, value and appreciate what he has (which is plenty). Nothing changes but everything changes.
The Business Woman
There’s the girl who sets up her own business. She doesn’t think about it, plan for it or talk about it (any more). No, she actually does it. In the first twelve months of owning her own business, she learns and grows more than she has in the last twelve years. The experience changes her.
And Me…
While I am constantly reading and studying, the place I’ve always learned the most, had my biggest breakthroughs and experienced my biggest (internal) shifts was when I stepped out of my over-thinking mind and experienced new things.
If you’re like me (an experiential learner), then perhaps it’s time for you to experience something new? To do something you’ve never done. And no, it doesn’t need to be a major event so don’t talk yourself out of it before you even start. It might be something relatively minor like trying yoga, talking to a stranger, going for a jog, learning an instrument, doing some volunteer work, asking someone out for coffee or even leaving a comment on this site.
Or, maybe you should think about it for a while longer?
Share an experience with me that created a significant internal shift for you.
Your Coach,
Bill
We all want to change our internal reality on some level. The way we think, interpret, react, cope, expect, process, interact and communicate. The way we create our own experiences: good and bad. The way we manage our fears. Or, perhaps, don’t manage them. The way we avoid the big decisions. The way we wait. And wait. And wait. That is, procrastinate.
The way we see ourselves. Talk to ourselves. The way we feel. Our emotions. The way we deal with stressful situations. Or, perhaps, the way we create stress in our world. The way we see the world and us in it. The labels we give things. The meaning we give certain experiences. The way we give away our power. And take it back. The way we look for approval. And acceptance.
The way we beat ourselves up. And make ourselves unhappy. The way we pretend. And act. And deny. The way we continue on with the same unproductive and destructive patterns, habits and behaviours. The way we have the same pointless conversations about the same issues with the same people. And produce the same less-than-desirable results. Forever. The way we do the same things over and over and then curiously wonder why nothing changes. The way we start things we never finish.
Yes, we all want to change on some level. We all want to become a better version of us. To learn, grow, evolve and adapt. That’s why we explore personal development.
So, what is the single quickest way to create internal shift? To change the way we think, feel, interpret, react, cope, expect, process, interact and communicate? Three simple words:
Experience new things.
Do Different to Be Different
When we do things we’ve never done before, there’s an instant and automatic internal shift. Expectations, emotions, attitudes and beliefs (about what’s possible for us) change. The internal shift is simply a byproduct of a new experience. Of doing something we’ve never done before.
Change comes from doing. For the most part, we don’t ‘think’ ourselves different; we ‘do’ ourselves different. So to speak. We need to ‘action’ our way to internal transformation. Which is why the theory of personal development is worthless until it becomes a practical reality. Until the concepts and ideas are turned into behaviours. Some people are theoretical geniuses but practical idiots. They talk a lot but do very little.
Change comes from doing. Which is why an article like this can be transformational or worthless – it all depends on you.
The Runner
For the forty-five year-old woman who runs a half-marathon for the first time in her life, the transformation will be more emotional and psychological (internal), than it will be physical (external). She finishes her event and without focusing on anything other than the physical process, she has gained more confidence, her standards and expectations have changed, she’s less fearful and she’s more excited about her future possibilities. Her new experience has created internal shift.
The Ex-Scaredy Cat
Then there’s the insecure, fearful guy who runs into a burning house and saves a child. In an instant, his default setting is changed forever. He does something that he never thought was possible (for him) and with one brave, selfless action, many of his self-limiting beliefs are smashed. He is empowered. The world is the same but he is different. Therefore, his world is different.
The Graduate
There’s the self-proclaimed dummy who enrolls in university, does the work, develops the study-skills, learns the academic language, passes the exams and gains the degree. She is forever changed. The ability was always there but the confidence wasn’t. Her self-limiting thinking and self-sabotaging behaviours become a thing of the past – as a byproduct of doing something she had never done.
The Traveller
There’s the woe-is-me guy who visits a third world country. He instantly realises that his horrible life in the North America is actually fantastic. And that his lifestyle is actually one of privilege, not disadvantage. He identifies that his self-pitying, negative attitude has always been his problem. Without even looking for it, his experience in another part of the world teaches him to acknowledge, value and appreciate what he has (which is plenty). Nothing changes but everything changes.
The Business Woman
There’s the girl who sets up her own business. She doesn’t think about it, plan for it or talk about it (any more). No, she actually does it. In the first twelve months of owning her own business, she learns and grows more than she has in the last twelve years. The experience changes her.
And Me…
While I am constantly reading and studying, the place I’ve always learned the most, had my biggest breakthroughs and experienced my biggest (internal) shifts was when I stepped out of my over-thinking mind and experienced new things.
If you’re like me (an experiential learner), then perhaps it’s time for you to experience something new? To do something you’ve never done. And no, it doesn’t need to be a major event so don’t talk yourself out of it before you even start. It might be something relatively minor like trying yoga, talking to a stranger, going for a jog, learning an instrument, doing some volunteer work, asking someone out for coffee or even leaving a comment on this site.
Or, maybe you should think about it for a while longer?
Share an experience with me that created a significant internal shift for you.
Your Coach,
Bill
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Brighten up Your Day!
Each day includes moments that can be deeply enjoyed or carelessly tossed aside. As I learned to identify and enjoy those moments amid the hustle of regular life, I found more smiles and sunshine than I’d ever thought possible. Try one of the following for best results!
Take 15 – Shut your phone off, close the blinds, rest your eyes and listen to some music. If you like action more than mediation, so be it! Use your 15 minutes in a way that will leave you feeling most revitalized. That’s where the sunshine comes from.
Go for a stroll – The kind of meandering walk that is more about discovering the path than reaching a destination. If I don’t have a camera or pad handy, I like to make a mental list of a few things I discover on every stroll I take. A design element I particularly appreciate, a rabbit hopping down an alley, or a woman singing on her porch; all contribute my perspective and appreciation of the world around me.
Do something nice for a complete stranger – Buy a coffee, pay a toll, give a smile and a “thank you” when none is required. Giving when neither is required will open you up to a world of kindness. It also feels very, very good.
Laugh from your stomach – You know the kind of laugh that shakes your entire body and ends in a half-moan because you’re not sure if you can stop laughing? That kind of laugh. A moment spent in full enjoyment of humor is a great way to release tension and refuel your smile.
Try something not included in your normal diet - Most of us eat from a very short list of foods. Eating something entirely different will do more than expand your palate. It will help keep your sense of adventure alive!
Your Coach
Bill
Take 15 – Shut your phone off, close the blinds, rest your eyes and listen to some music. If you like action more than mediation, so be it! Use your 15 minutes in a way that will leave you feeling most revitalized. That’s where the sunshine comes from.
Go for a stroll – The kind of meandering walk that is more about discovering the path than reaching a destination. If I don’t have a camera or pad handy, I like to make a mental list of a few things I discover on every stroll I take. A design element I particularly appreciate, a rabbit hopping down an alley, or a woman singing on her porch; all contribute my perspective and appreciation of the world around me.
Do something nice for a complete stranger – Buy a coffee, pay a toll, give a smile and a “thank you” when none is required. Giving when neither is required will open you up to a world of kindness. It also feels very, very good.
Laugh from your stomach – You know the kind of laugh that shakes your entire body and ends in a half-moan because you’re not sure if you can stop laughing? That kind of laugh. A moment spent in full enjoyment of humor is a great way to release tension and refuel your smile.
Try something not included in your normal diet - Most of us eat from a very short list of foods. Eating something entirely different will do more than expand your palate. It will help keep your sense of adventure alive!
Your Coach
Bill
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