Quitting is more about WHO you are than WHERE you are.
Unfortunately, in many ways starting is the easy part. Ralph Waldo Emerson observed, “The great majority of men are bundles of beginnings.”
What about you? Are you merely a starter? When the enthusiasm for a new idea fades, when the passion cools, when the odds against you increase and the results diminish, when it looks as if success is impossible, will you maintain your intensity and keep going? Are you tenacious?
Consider the fact that Admiral Robert Peary attempted to reach the North Pole seven times before he succeeded. Oscar Hammerstein produced five shows that were flops on Broadway before staging Oklahoma, which had a record-breaking run of 2,212 performances. Thomas Edison failed in his attempt to create a workable lightbulb 10,000 times before creating one that finally worked. To achieve your dream, you need to be able to keep going when others quit.
To develop tenacity, keep in mind that…
Quitting is more about who you are than where you are.
Everyone faces difficulty when working toward a dream. And if someone fails, he can make excuses for what went wrong, how the unexpected happened, how someone let him down, how circumstances worked against him.
But the reality is that the external things do not stop people. Those who achieve their dreams don’t have an easier path than those who do not. They just have a different internal attitude about the journey. The great artist Leonardo da Vinci once declared, “Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed on a star does not change his mind.”
The one who achieves the dream sees the journey differently.
Instead of thinking, “Not enough people believe in me. I’ll never make it,” he says,
“My belief in myself is enough; I can make it.”
Instead of, “It’s taking too long to realize my dream,” she reminds herself,
“Dreams are realized one day at a time.”
Rather than, “Enough is enough! I’ve taken enough hits!” she declares,
“I’ve come too far to give up now.”
Instead of, “I don’t have the strength to hold onto my dream,” he tells himself,
“Hold on a little longer. The darkest hour comes just before the dawn.”
Novelist Harriet Beecher Stowe said, “When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”
And I love how H.E. Jensen expressed an achiever’s way of thinking: “The man who wins may have been counted out several times, but he didn’t hear the referee.” The only real guarantee for failure is to stop trying.
So when things go wrong, when the obstacles seem too great, when the difficulties get to be too much, when your dream seems to be impossibly far away, your job is to simply keep going. If you stop, it won’t be because of what happens around you. It will be because of what happens in you. Choose to see things differently. Success is probably closer than you think. Just keep moving forward.
Thanks John Maxwell
Your Coach,
Bill
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Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
This Good Information Here.
Good Stuff Here.
Don’t use a hammer to swat a fly off someone’s head.
By John C Maxwell
My wife, Margaret, and I were married in June 1969, and like most couples, we naively believed that nothing but smooth sailing lay ahead of us. Of course, it didn’t take long for us to find ourselves in the kinds of minor disagreements that all couples experience, especially when they’re first adjusting to married life.
Like most people, I thought I was right nearly all the time, and I let Margaret know about it. I’ve always been a good talker, and I can be pretty persuasive, so I used my skills to win our arguments. We never yelled or screamed at each other. It was always very rational and controlled, but I always made sure I won. The problem was that with my approach, Margaret always had to lose.
And I truly didn’t realize that winning at all costs could eventually jeopardize our marriage, until one day when Margaret sat me down, shared how she felt when we argued, and explained what it was doing to our relationship. It was the first time I understood I was putting winning the arguments ahead of winning the relationship.
From that day I decided to change. Realizing that having the right attitude was more important than having the right answers, I softened my approach, listened more, and stopped making a big deal out of little things. In time, the wall that had begun to form came down, and we began building bridges. And since that time, I’ve made a conscious effort to initiate connection anytime I’m in conflict with someone I care about.
Let’s face it. Because of their personalities, some people are inclined to use a hammer, even when something gentler will do. That’s my natural inclination. But now, when tempted to use overkill, I try to temper my behavior using the following four Ts. You may want to embrace them when you find yourself in a similar situation.
1. Total Picture.
Do you come to conclusions long before the problem has been laid out before you? That’s a common occurrence for most of us. To keep from hammering people with answers before they finished asking the question, I’ve trained myself to follow this process:
Listen,
Ask questions,
Listen again,
Ask more questions,
Listen some more,
Then
Respond.
I find that if I slow myself down, I’m more likely to respond patiently and appropriately.
2. Timing
When you act is as important as taking the right action. Even knowing when not to act can be important. Noted hostess and writer Lady Dorothy Nevill observed, “The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
It seems to me that the most common cause of bad timing in relationships is selfish motives. For that reason, when little things bother us, our number one objective must be putting our personal agendas aside and building the relationship. Once you’ve examined your motives, then you need to ask yourself two timing questions: 1) Am I ready to confront? That’s a pretty easy one to answer because it’s really a matter of whether you’ve done your homework. The second is harder: 2) Is the other person ready to hear? If you’ve laid a relational foundation, and the two of you are not in the “heat of battle,” then the answer is more likely to be yes.
3. Tone
The writer of Proverbs stated, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Haven’t you found that to be true? People often respond more to our attitudes and actions than to our words. And many petty conflicts occur because people use the wrong tone of voice. The next time someone says something to you in anger, respond with gentleness and kindness. In response, the other person is likely to tone down, if not soften, his attitude.
4. Temperature
As tempers flare, people are prone to dropping bombs when using a slingshot will do. And that can cause a lot of trouble because the size of a problem changes based on the heat applied to it. In general,
If the reaction is more heated than the action, the problem usually increases.
If the reaction is less intense than the action, the problem usually decreases.
That’s why I try to follow a self-imposed guideline that I like to call the Reprimand Rule: Take thirty seconds to share feelings – and then it’s over. Anytime we let a little thing create a big reaction (longer than 30 seconds), then we’re using a hammer.
Psychologist Abraham Maslow once observed, “If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.” That might work with some issues, but it’s a terrible way to treat people. Relationships require more judicious treatment. Pay attention to the Four Ts in conflict, especially regarding the little things, and you’ll be more likely to solve the problem while preserving the relationship.
Your Coach
Bill
Don’t use a hammer to swat a fly off someone’s head.
By John C Maxwell
My wife, Margaret, and I were married in June 1969, and like most couples, we naively believed that nothing but smooth sailing lay ahead of us. Of course, it didn’t take long for us to find ourselves in the kinds of minor disagreements that all couples experience, especially when they’re first adjusting to married life.
Like most people, I thought I was right nearly all the time, and I let Margaret know about it. I’ve always been a good talker, and I can be pretty persuasive, so I used my skills to win our arguments. We never yelled or screamed at each other. It was always very rational and controlled, but I always made sure I won. The problem was that with my approach, Margaret always had to lose.
And I truly didn’t realize that winning at all costs could eventually jeopardize our marriage, until one day when Margaret sat me down, shared how she felt when we argued, and explained what it was doing to our relationship. It was the first time I understood I was putting winning the arguments ahead of winning the relationship.
From that day I decided to change. Realizing that having the right attitude was more important than having the right answers, I softened my approach, listened more, and stopped making a big deal out of little things. In time, the wall that had begun to form came down, and we began building bridges. And since that time, I’ve made a conscious effort to initiate connection anytime I’m in conflict with someone I care about.
Let’s face it. Because of their personalities, some people are inclined to use a hammer, even when something gentler will do. That’s my natural inclination. But now, when tempted to use overkill, I try to temper my behavior using the following four Ts. You may want to embrace them when you find yourself in a similar situation.
1. Total Picture.
Do you come to conclusions long before the problem has been laid out before you? That’s a common occurrence for most of us. To keep from hammering people with answers before they finished asking the question, I’ve trained myself to follow this process:
Listen,
Ask questions,
Listen again,
Ask more questions,
Listen some more,
Then
Respond.
I find that if I slow myself down, I’m more likely to respond patiently and appropriately.
2. Timing
When you act is as important as taking the right action. Even knowing when not to act can be important. Noted hostess and writer Lady Dorothy Nevill observed, “The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
It seems to me that the most common cause of bad timing in relationships is selfish motives. For that reason, when little things bother us, our number one objective must be putting our personal agendas aside and building the relationship. Once you’ve examined your motives, then you need to ask yourself two timing questions: 1) Am I ready to confront? That’s a pretty easy one to answer because it’s really a matter of whether you’ve done your homework. The second is harder: 2) Is the other person ready to hear? If you’ve laid a relational foundation, and the two of you are not in the “heat of battle,” then the answer is more likely to be yes.
3. Tone
The writer of Proverbs stated, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Haven’t you found that to be true? People often respond more to our attitudes and actions than to our words. And many petty conflicts occur because people use the wrong tone of voice. The next time someone says something to you in anger, respond with gentleness and kindness. In response, the other person is likely to tone down, if not soften, his attitude.
4. Temperature
As tempers flare, people are prone to dropping bombs when using a slingshot will do. And that can cause a lot of trouble because the size of a problem changes based on the heat applied to it. In general,
If the reaction is more heated than the action, the problem usually increases.
If the reaction is less intense than the action, the problem usually decreases.
That’s why I try to follow a self-imposed guideline that I like to call the Reprimand Rule: Take thirty seconds to share feelings – and then it’s over. Anytime we let a little thing create a big reaction (longer than 30 seconds), then we’re using a hammer.
Psychologist Abraham Maslow once observed, “If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.” That might work with some issues, but it’s a terrible way to treat people. Relationships require more judicious treatment. Pay attention to the Four Ts in conflict, especially regarding the little things, and you’ll be more likely to solve the problem while preserving the relationship.
Your Coach
Bill
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